Canadian Lyndsay

How does one grieve for the loss of someone they spent 6 years of their life with, but haven’t seen or talked to in over a year?

I am faced with that now, reeling from the news that my ex-boyfriend Matthew was found shot dead in his apartment late last week.

The news did not hit me hard. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised and I was ready for the news. Matthew had chosen a career that had major occupational hazards that had almost taken his life more than once over the past few years.

I wasn’t prepared to hear that he had been shot in the head, and possibly pulled the trigger himself.

I was doing fine… Saturday night… Sunday… mind you, I am blessed with the love of the greatest man – Dave. My this morning, as other blogs start to populate with posts regarding Matthew’s death, I see a couple pictures of him have been posted. All of the sudden my eyes filled with tears. I think that makes it all the more real.

I am not going to the funeral, I really only entertained that thought for a few minutes. A year and a half ago, I closed the door to the part of my life I shared with Matthew. I grieved then. I won’t open that wound again – there’s no point.

Thank you Adam and Miriam for keeping me updated on what’s going on.